How to Choose the Right Type of Wedding for You

You can search “Is an elopement right for us?” but the honest truth is: there’s no one-size-fits-all answer. Your perfect wedding doesn’t come from the internet; it comes from a conversation with your partner about what feels true to both of you. Whether it’s an elopement, an intimate wedding, or a traditional celebration, each path is beautiful, and each can (and should) be deeply personal.

Elopement vs. Intimate Wedding vs. Traditional Wedding

When couples start planning, they often ask me: “How do we know what kind of wedding is right for us?” I’ve photographed all three — from two-person elopements in remote landscapes, to cozy destination weddings with 30 guests, to large-scale ballroom celebrations with over 200 guests. Each one has its beauty, but each also has unique challenges. Let’s break it down:

Elopement

An elopement today means a small, intentional celebration — often just the couple or up to 10 guests. It can happen anywhere: on a mountain at sunrise, on a rooftop in Rome, in a vineyard, or even in your own backyard.

Pros:

• Profoundly personal and stress-free — the focus stays on your connection.
• Total flexibility: you can hike, have a picnic, read letters, or stargaze.
• Often easier logistically — fewer vendors, fewer moving parts.
• Beautiful if you love adventure or want a day that feels just yours.

Cons:

• Some couples later feel the absence of family or friends.
• Can still require planning (permits, travel, logistics).
• It may be misunderstood by loved ones who expect a “traditional” wedding.

From my experience: I love photographing elopements because they allow couples to be fully present. When there are no distractions, I can capture raw emotions — tears, laughter, quiet moments — in a way that feels timeless.

Explore 20 Elopement Activities for Adventure Weddings for ideas that bring fun and connection into your celebration!

Intimate / Small Destination Wedding

Usually between 10 and 50 guests, intimate weddings are the in-between option. They allow couples to include their closest people while still keeping the atmosphere relaxed and personal.

Pros:

• Balance of intimacy + community — time with guests and time together.
• You can still include traditions (dinner, toasts, dancing) without the overwhelm.
• Destination weddings often turn into multi-day celebrations (welcome dinners, group tours, etc.), giving you more quality time with your guests.
• Easier to personalize — less pressure to follow “rules.”

Cons:

• More planning than an elopement (venues, catering, seating).
• The guest list can still feel tricky to narrow down.
• May still carry some expectations from family.

From my experience: I adore small weddings abroad. I’ve seen couples share wine with 30 friends in an Italian vineyard or exchange vows with family on a lakeshore in Patagonia. There’s something magical about seeing your closest circle celebrating you while still leaving space for intimacy.

Traditional Wedding

Weddings with 50+ guests, often 100–200+. They usually include a full day with a structured timeline: getting ready, ceremony, cocktail hour, reception, speeches, dances, and a big party atmosphere.

Pros:

• The energy of having everyone you love in one place.
• There is more room for cultural or family traditions.
• Big celebrations can feel powerful and once-in-a-lifetime.
• The party atmosphere can be unforgettable.

Cons:

• There is higher stress in organizing the logistics with vendors and guests.
• More pressure, family expectations, and moving parts.
• The day can move quickly and sometimes feel overwhelming.
• Less time with each guest: Even if your wedding day lasts 12+ hours, the reception (where you truly connect with people) often boils down to 2–3 hours. With 100 guests, that’s about 1 minute and 20 seconds per guest. With 150+, it’s less than a minute each. That doesn’t mean it’s not worth it, but it’s something to think about if quality time with guests is a priority.

From my experience: I’ve captured weddings of 200+ guests where the energy was electric — music, dancing, tears, joy everywhere. But I’ve also seen couples overwhelmed by the pace of the day. That’s why I try to help create timelines that allow them to slow down and savor the moments that matter most.

Note: None of these options is “better” than the others. It all comes down to what feels true to you as a couple. The beauty is that you have choices — and each can be deeply personal when done with intention.

What Emotion Feels Most “You”?

At the end of the day, choosing between an elopement, an intimate wedding, or a big celebration isn’t about trends or expectations — it’s about how you want your day to feel.

Here are some questions you can ask yourself (and each other) as you imagine your day:

• When you picture your wedding day, what’s the first feeling that comes to mind?
• Is it excitement, calm, adventure, connection, joy, or intimacy?
• Do you imagine a quiet morning together, or getting ready surrounded by friends and family?
• How do you feel about being the center of attention?
• Some couples thrive on the energy of a crowd cheering them on, while others prefer intimate moments where they can be fully themselves without an audience.
• Do you want the day to feel like an adventure or more like a celebration?
• Think sunrise hikes, vineyards, and cliffside vows — versus dancing, speeches, and shared traditions.
• How important is time with each guest?
• Would you rather share long conversations with 20 people, or feel the joy of being celebrated by 150 — even if you only get a few minutes with each?
• What traditions matter most to you?
• Is it exchanging vows privately, walking down the aisle with family, a first dance, or simply being together outdoors?
• Do you want to keep things simple, or do you enjoy the idea of planning details and logistics?
• When you look back at your photos, what do you hope to feel?
• The intimacy of just the two of you, the laughter of your closest circle, or the electricity of a room full of family and friends?

There’s no wrong answer. Your wedding day should reflect who you are — as individuals and as a couple. The most meaningful choice will always be the one that aligns with your love story, not anyone else’s expectations. If you’re still deciding, that’s okay — I’d love to help. Connect with me and let’s explore what’s possible for your day.